I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
