I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A bitchslap is in order.
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