He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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