Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
