I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
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