I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
did you just send me my own nude
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
