she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
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