Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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