The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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