ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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