my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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