Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
