I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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