Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
