Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize