We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize