my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
