Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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