DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Randomize