She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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