i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
