I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Randomize
