He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I would fuck him just for his dog
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize