I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
