Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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