what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
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Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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