Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
last night I used snow as a chaser
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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