The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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