they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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