So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
