i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
