He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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