he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is this like a preordered booty call?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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