I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize