i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
