one might say we're banned from that church
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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