are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
