Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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