Me too!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
