so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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