I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
pray to the hookup gods
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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