We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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