I think my vagina is haunted
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
