I need help removing her.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
