Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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