fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
