Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You are the jesus of drinking
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize