fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
