so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You are the jesus of drinking
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