Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
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