I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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