Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
