i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
