it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
