New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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