Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
