I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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