I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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