I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
