for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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